Resigned

Yesterday was a bit of an anticlimax. We went back to Lafayette park, picked up "Worth it?" and then Mrs. Alice's Mom took Alice shopping (I was there too, but it wasn't my kind of store (It wasn't Alice's either, for that matter) and I've already spent too much money on this trip, so I hung back in the shoe area with a notebook). We went to lunch at Panera (I highly recommend the Fuji Apple Chicken Salad, which is saying something since I don't normally like Panera except for their bagels).

We came back to the apartment. I don't know how, but Alice and her mom got into a blow-up fight about her future. It mirrored exactly a discussion I had with my mom a few weeks ago, only there was less shouting and more bawling when we did it. Basically, it goes like this:

Mom: "Why aren't you doing anything with your life?"
Daughter: "I'm trying, but there are no jobs out there."
Mom: "You're a college grad, you should have a job."
Daughter: "No one is hiring entry level positions, and I'm not qualified for anything."
Mom: "So just pick something and apply. You can't afford to be picky in this economy."
Daughter: "I know, but most of those jobs won't pay enough for me to live on. I have to make X amount, and they only pay half that!"
Mom: "So decide what you want and work towards it! Just find a way to support yourself in the mean time!"

At which point it spirals horribly downward when the mother realizes that after four years of art school, neither of us feels qualified for an art job, would rather introduce our skulls to a nice brick wall than work in art, and other than eventually getting published, neither of us has any idea what we want to do with our lives anymore. We're caught in an endless cycle: To get a good job, we have to leave Ohio. In order to leave Ohio, we need a good job--I have $500 in my bank account, and my current job isn't going to give me enough to live on. Basically, I'd need a $1000-2000 signing bonus, and who is going to give me that?

After fifteen minutes of shouting, I left. I went for a nice long walk, got a Baskin Robbins shake, and came back slowly to find Alice and her mom beading together at the kitchen counter like nothing had happened. Because that's the great thing about moms: one minute you're at each other's throat, and the next you're baking cookies (and for the record, these arguments usually start because Alice and I both get pissed off and pig headed in the same way our dad's do, so technically, it's their fault. And that is my (late) mother's day gift to everyone out there: it's all the guy's fault).

In the evening, we went back to the Torpedo Factory, which was having a sidewalk sale/open studio night. It was interesting. Alice wanted to show me the fiber artists, since if you are Fine Artist doing fiber at CCAD you're automatically not as good as the painters and belong in Fashion, and the Fashion people look down on you because you aren't "couture" enough (even though most of them wouldn't know couture if it bit them in the ass). A lot of them were really interesting, but I don't want to touch a gallery with a ten foot pole right now. The little shows like Code Pink are fine, but I've had enough of the art world. I need some time off.

We ended the night by watching movies on FX. Action, blood and gore: the perfect ending for the day. No plans for today, since Alice has crossed the University of Virginia off her list, and they still haven't replied to my email.

Apologies; I'm getting back into that bad mood I didn't want to broadcast.